Its been almost a year that I am living  my life as a hostelier.Hostel life has taught me many things.Out of the many the most important thing that I've realized is that my earlier theory that "everyone has good intentions" has been proved WRONG.

I have roughly categorised  peole into the following 4 categories

CATEGORY 2

CATEGORY 3

• Watch Out : and u never know what they are behind ur back.

CATEGORY 4

                                TIME IS CHANGING...........

                                         ..........SO AM I

Not many people who are close to me know this(not even my parent knew it until i recently declared it)...that i had this weird notion set up in my mind and i thought that nothing could change it ever.    

 And that stupid thing was- " NO Chocolate is better than 'Dairy Milk'.......NO health drink is tasteir than 'Bournvita' ... and NO newspaper is better than 'Hindustan times' " and i thought i would never hane to change my standards( if u can call them so) ,no matter what, coz they are simply the Best.

But i guess this "2008" year is really a "Year of Transformation" for me.

Though I still consider ' Dairy Milk' as my fav chocolate but its been months since i last devoured one. '5 Star' seems to have taken its place.

Next in row is 'Bournvita'. Its just so delicious with hot milk.....I didn't even consider other flavors to come near me( i.e my tongue to be specific).Recently my roomate introduced me to 'Milo' and mmm I loved it.Bournvita too is still my fav but  now Milo shares the honour too.

And next is the newspaper that was just 'the best' , I have been its regular reader (and an irregular contributor) since last 5 years. I know every nook and corner of it....each columnist...its style.....just every thing.Now i m in a hostel in Vizag ,where they don't have HT published and i actually had to wait for months to even have a glimpse of what had been soo close to me once.I was actually addicted to it.But this vacation,when i returned back to reading it. i realized it had lost its essence.Things aren't interesting anymore ...the supplements are only hollywood or bollywood oriented...and previous issues which had articles for younsters have also disappeared.So i changed my subscription from HT to 'Times of India'.

You must be wondering .....what is this girl up to? ...giving a post on how here tastes have changed. I am amazed myself. These pety things seem so unimportant but these are NOT. I know myself as a very very stable person...once a view is set ...its set forever..but i guess i m changing a bit.I don't mean to prove it by the above mentioned examples but what I mean is, my perspective about stuffs has changed a lot. I m giving new things a chance not only in terms of product ,but people and circumstances too .....and i am happy that things are finally changing.

Hi dear ilanders.....

guess if u still remember me.....

i m back after a long time.....i m on a 2 months vacation. actually i got so buzy wid my college that i couldn't actually devote time  here........shortly i'll be putting up posts...do put ur Valuable Comments.

Actually missed U all

do din ke faasle doorie nahin kehlate
hum aapke kareeb hain har pal har waqt

i thought i'll miss u
i thought i'll miss u ,
but then, i'll NOT,
i asked myself "why should i be missing u?"
i didn't get an answer,
i thought again, do i even have the right to miss u ?
i didn't get an answer either
But admist all the queries
there was only one thing definite,
i'll NOT miss u for sure........
coz u don't miss ur heart beat, do u?
u don't need to have the right to miss ur soul,
u don't need to ask questions for answers u already know
u only need to close ur eyes and feel deep within
the words i shared with you will make us feel so close ,so near
that i'll NEVER miss u EVER

Aaj mohabbat ho had se gujar jane de

Teri baahon mein humein pighal jane de

Kya pata khuda kal ka din dikhaye na dikhaye

Humein aaj khud se simat jane de

Jaante hain hum is rishte ka koi anjaam nahin hai

Par is pal toh jee lene do

Tera saath kal na rahe toh kya

Aaj toh apna haath tham lene do

Inhi kuch lamhon ke sahare hum zindagi kaat lenge

Tumse door huay toh kya gam hai

Teri yaadon ka daman tham lenge!

Dried was the river

For two years or so

Cracked was the earth

With not a plant to grow

Sad was the farmer

With nothing to survive

Dead was his mother

With hunger and strive

BUT!!

Suddenly showered the rain

Heavily as ever as if it

Wouldn’t stop again

Pouring down and pouring down

With the people’s universal shout

Ready were the farmers with their plough

Their wives visited the temple

Before the god to bow.

With water was the river filled

And green were the fields

Yes! Filled was the river with water

The days were gone which were hotter

But Alas!!

The village was in destruction

Flood! Yes flood, was the reason.

Earlier it was drought

But now it was flood

Earlier it was thirst

Now it was the worst.

Sunk were the cattle,

Drained were the trees.

She saw her son going

But couldn’t save him from drowning.

Journalists had matters to write

And politicians had reasons to fight.

All were bothered about the flood,

The trees, cattle, and houses made of mud.

But who cared about the humans there?

Who sat and heard their prayers?

Before the elections all made promises

Now who looked back on those cases?

Died o’er thousands of them

Just because of lack of water

Dying were hundreds of them

Just because of plenty of water.

So!

Is water a curse or a boon?

What’s the answer? Answer me soon!

Is it a saver? Or a destroyer?

Or just a matter to write and fight?

                                    EX-FLAMES RE-IGNITED

       
It is very difficult to let go a person from your life once you connect with him/her deeply. Heart to heart connections take time to fade away.

There was this guy in my life, who made me feel so special .He not only gave me a sense of confidence, but was a constant support .I was a fan of his mature and rational thoughts and equally humorous comments. I ‘respected’ him more than I ‘loved’ him. These feelings took deeper roots day by day. But every good thing comes to an end. Those feelings had to be abandoned. That guy went away, he had informed me but thereafter he never contacted me.

        Nearly two years have passed away since then, things have actually changed in my life, my lifestyle, my personality, my judgment about people, and many more things. I am a more matured individual now. But there’s one thing that hasn’t changed - my feelings for him.

         He is still the special one for me. There is a void in my life and no one but he can fill it. It’s not that I haven’t tried; believe me I’ve tried very hard. That wind-chime that he gifted me on my b’day is lying locked up in my cupboard, which I never bother to open. I never cared to have a look at his photo that’s saved on my pc,(but I never had the courage to delete it either).I tried to bury myself under heaps of books, school, tuitions, friends did help ,but sudden pangs of that missing feeling, that void place vibrated and thousand thoughts swirled in my mind. I realized that his betrayal had pierced very deep. I couldn’t just let go. One year and 10 months(to be precise) is enough for memories to fade away or even take a back seat, but this was not happening with me. Finally I gave up!

         I was okay with the fact that this guy will always have that special place in my heart but that did not mean I wouldn’t give my life a second chance. Forgetting him was impossible so I decided to live with it.

        As they say life is so unpredictable. Two long years and finally I was getting used to my fate, just on the verge of starting afresh and his mobile no. falls on my lap (not literally, of course).

        I couldn’t control myself, as I had these numerous clarifications to be made (some things people told me after he left)

Before making the call I vowed ‘this is going to be the last call’. I called him up; clarified stuffs .I was convinced with his answers to my questions. I actually believed what he said, again not because I loved him but I respected him for the individual he was.

As my fate would have it, several calls followed, but no lengthy discussions happened as I had my exams then, he said we’d discuss after exams. There is still a question mark in our relationship. I know I love him but I don’t know if I am ready to accept him in my life again. Another heartbreak would devastate me. I love him unconditionally and I know nothing beyond that.

I am still waiting for his call, he said he will call, but the question is should I wait or should I move on…..

Giving him another chance will be a way for a better relationships or another devastating experience that would shatter my faith on ‘love’ forever.

          Rima Sarkar’s blog actually made me wonder about the strange relationship between the XX and XY chromosomes. Does a strong relationship like friendship fall weak before ‘love’ or infatuation for that matter?
         Mutual attraction is so common among teenagers (believe me I have gone through it many times), sometimes it is actually easy to choose but other times it’s a decision of a lifetime. Who wants to let go a best buddy? But the bitter truth is the buddy has to go either ways, whether u accept the proposal or not.
            This is a tough decision to make. I don’t know if my stars went crazy in the year 2005,but I faced 3 such situations that year, and I never knew when to draw the line, but my bitter past came as a rescue – my friends knew it that I was not ready for a relationship then. I had gone through several sleepless nights and days of self-discussions but the final decision was always difficult to make.     
           A dialogue from Fanaah has always been my favourite - “Its easy to choose between the Good and the Bad but to choose the best among the two Good options or better among the two Bad ones is the true test of humanity”; and I guess this holds true for many situations we face in our lives.

                 I personally feel its sometimes okay to give things a chance, to give love a chance, even if for a moment!

I know what’s holding back Rima.

1. She has seen her friends going through a lot of things, all in the name of love.
2. As she mentioned in the blog, she never felt she “wanted” Yash.

I’ll give my personal opinion on both of these:

1. If u look a lil’ deeper into your friends hearts, u’ll notice that with ever bitter phase they have gained something. Ask them and they’ll say that the feeling of love surpasses everything in the world. It’s not the mistakes u regret but the moments u cherish that counts. Love makes u fell complete (I m not talking about the dewangee types plzzzz…)
2. Secondly, in love you never “want”, coz when love becomes want its not love. In love you are just happy with the fact that there is someone who cares for u and u are the world for someone.

DON’T JUDGE love (or the person u love) but feel its warmth. Where there is love there is no place for judgments, regrets,expectations or ego.

If you think that he is one who can make you happy or if he is worth a special place in your life- Don’t Hold yourself ! Go For It ! and believe me u will cherish those moments forever.

SAATH JO TERA CHOOTA

BANDHAN JO YE TUTA

HUM KASAM SE MAR JAYENGE

TERE BIN NA HUM JI PAYENGE

AGAR PYAR KA YE DIYA BUJH GAYA TO

HUM JAL JAYENGE

TERE JUDAI KA GUM

NA HUM SAHE PYENGE

KYA ITNA KAMJOR THA HUMARA RISTA

JO IK PAL MEIN TOOT GAYA

AYE KHUDA AGAR TERI YEHI CHAHAT HAI

KI HUM JUDA HO JAYE

TO HUM TERE CHAHAT KI KADR KARENGE

ISHQ KIYA HAI TO GUM KA EHSAAS BHI SAHENGE!

TANHA SAFAR YADON KE SAHARE GUJAR LENGE

PAR KASAM TERI AYE KHUDA
APNE ISHQ KO AAKRI SAANS TAK YAAD RAKHENGE.

Love, like all things bound to the universe, is non existent without some amount of physics and chemistry attached to it. As a scientist cynically pointed out, cupid’s arrows would never have been effective if they had not been first dipped in one unromantically named chemical- phenylethylamine.

Nor would the human body’s reaction have given us dramas like Romeo and Juliet, if oxytocin did not have its way. Together these two form the chemistry of love. The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, Phenylethylamine (commonly dubbed the `love molecule'). Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are (unfortunately) clinically explained as an overdose of this chemical. A very interesting thing is that chocolate is known to have very high level of this chemical…perhaps that’s the reason why it is considered a perfect gift for valentine. Or for your sweetheart.

The latest discovery is the arrangement of molecules in this chemicals and the whole world is excited because now, like the witches of the yore, we can actually concoct love potions. In other words, mankind could be on its way to isolating the chemical compound and making drugs that can induce these reactions in us, in other words….you take the drug, and you fall in love with the next person you see. Imagine the chaos that the world will face. But the scientists say that as of now, this discovery will be used to find out how it can help in some other chemical reactions, to cure disease or other, more useful pursuits and research (though everyone agrees what can be more useful than making someone fall with in love you!!!!)

At this point of time, research on the phenylethylamine molecule breakthrough could be extremely helpful in testing of chemicals related to mental illness. Parkinson’s disease could be one.

So what are we left with? Explanations, but nothing is still in our hands. What we know about love is still largely out of our control. For instance, infatuation. This is supposedly the first stage of falling in love, an unbearable attraction towards someone. This attraction causes a virtual explosion of nuerochemicals very similar to adrenalin. Assisted by Phenylethylamine (that speeds up the flow of information between cells), dopamine (that makes us glow and feel good), and norepinephrine (that stimulates the production of adrenalin), make our world go round, our eyes sparkle and our heart beat faster. Our entire existence then depends on the sight of the person who triggered these reactions to begin with, and as the addiction to the chemical grows stronger, our attraction becomes greater. At this stage we commit foolish mistakes which are the stuff puppy love stories are made of. Actually it is these three chemicals that combine to give us what we call infatuation. We feel we are energized, often floating on air…and the reason why people who are just falling in love can talk for hours on end… (the same person becomes boring at a later stage).

We can blame our chemicals for everything. We had a list of attributes ready for matching, but we just end up falling in love with the person who possesses none of them…it is , as they say, chemistry. Social obligations, other relationships, sense and sensibility, all take a back seat; our mind soars with these natural drugs. No wonder, a lover and a madman are said to be alike. Scientists also opine that this `clicking’ would be with a person with whom we can identify a parent-child situation. A person who, in our subconscious, will give us back something we feel we lost during our growing up years. For some it is security, for some others, it is warmth, and then others, just a spirit of adventure. This could be the reason why demure, well brought up girls usually fall for wastrels. This subconscious selection of mate gets our phenylethylamines and other chemicals moving. This period when our brain is awash with the love hormones lasts for different durations in different people, between six months to three years. In most of us, it settles down after that. For mercurial people, this high is missed and that’s the reason why they need another temporary high….another relationship, another chemical fix. If these love junkies stay married, they will need new relationships to keep their dope, and sometimes, bigger highs. hence bigger risks.

In this world of chemical signals, humans are not scientifically considered monogamous; we do not fall under the 3% of the species that are monogamous. The species that stick to one mate usually have a rich flow of another chemical called vasopressin, the monogamy chemical. Experiments done with males injected with this chemical brought out all the evidence needed. Isolating males before and after mating showed that before mating, he was indifferent to all females. But 24 hours after mating, he is hooked for life. The jealous husband syndrome sets in too.

Another interesting chemical is oxytoxin, the `cuddling ‘chemical. It promotes the need to be physically held, have close contact with he mate and makes both the sexes more caring. It can be released simply by a lover’s look, smell or even a fantasy.

So much for the chemistry of infatuation. When infatuation subsides, another chemical takes over, which is responsible for intimate relationships. These chemicals are created by endorphins. They make a relationship steadier, intimate, dependable, warm and a great sharing experience. They do not induce a giddy high, but calmness and stability…hence are the reason why people stay married. The longer they are married, the longer two people stay together, because this chemical is addictive. It is endorphins that trigger grief on a spouse’s death or long separation, those yearnings for togetherness. The two types of attachments can be summed up as follows…adrenaline love is being in love with the idea of being in love. While endorphins, we like loving someone.

So much for the magic of love and the realms written on it. It did come out of a bottle after all….and continues to afflict us….generations after generation.

Love, like all things bound to the universe, is non existent without some amount of physics and chemistry attached to it. As a scientist cynically pointed out, cupid’s arrows would never have been effective if they had not been first dipped in one unromantically named chemical- phenylethylamine.

Nor would the human body’s reaction have given us dramas like Romeo and Juliet, if oxytocin did not have its way. Together these two form the chemistry of love. The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, Phenylethylamine (commonly dubbed the `love molecule'). Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are (unfortunately) clinically explained as an overdose of this chemical. A very interesting thing is that chocolate is known to have very high level of this chemical…perhaps that’s the reason why it is considered a perfect gift for valentine. Or for your sweetheart.

The latest discovery is the arrangement of molecules in this chemicals and the whole world is excited because now, like the witches of the yore, we can actually concoct love potions. In other words, mankind could be on its way to isolating the chemical compound and making drugs that can induce these reactions in us, in other words….you take the drug, and you fall in love with the next person you see. Imagine the chaos that the world will face. But the scientists say that as of now, this discovery will be used to find out how it can help in some other chemical reactions, to cure disease or other, more useful pursuits and research (though everyone agrees what can be more useful than making someone fall with in love you!!!!)

At this point of time, research on the phenylethylamine molecule breakthrough could be extremely helpful in testing of chemicals related to mental illness. Parkinson’s disease could be one.

So what are we left with? Explanations, but nothing is still in our hands. What we know about love is still largely out of our control. For instance, infatuation. This is supposedly the first stage of falling in love, an unbearable attraction towards someone. This attraction causes a virtual explosion of nuerochemicals very similar to adrenalin. Assisted by Phenylethylamine (that speeds up the flow of information between cells), dopamine (that makes us glow and feel good), and norepinephrine (that stimulates the production of adrenalin), make our world go round, our eyes sparkle and our heart beat faster. Our entire existence then depends on the sight of the person who triggered these reactions to begin with, and as the addiction to the chemical grows stronger, our attraction becomes greater. At this stage we commit foolish mistakes which are the stuff puppy love stories are made of. Actually it is these three chemicals that combine to give us what we call infatuation. We feel we are energized, often floating on air…and the reason why people who are just falling in love can talk for hours on end… (the same person becomes boring at a later stage).

We can blame our chemicals for everything. We had a list of attributes ready for matching, but we just end up falling in love with the person who possesses none of them…it is , as they say, chemistry. Social obligations, other relationships, sense and sensibility, all take a back seat; our mind soars with these natural drugs. No wonder, a lover and a madman are said to be alike. Scientists also opine that this `clicking’ would be with a person with whom we can identify a parent-child situation. A person who, in our subconscious, will give us back something we feel we lost during our growing up years. For some it is security, for some others, it is warmth, and then others, just a spirit of adventure. This could be the reason why demure, well brought up girls usually fall for wastrels. This subconscious selection of mate gets our phenylethylamines and other chemicals moving. This period when our brain is awash with the love hormones lasts for different durations in different people, between six months to three years. In most of us, it settles down after that. For mercurial people, this high is missed and that’s the reason why they need another temporary high….another relationship, another chemical fix. If these love junkies stay married, they will need new relationships to keep their dope, and sometimes, bigger highs. hence bigger risks.

In this world of chemical signals, humans are not scientifically considered monogamous; we do not fall under the 3% of the species that are monogamous. The species that stick to one mate usually have a rich flow of another chemical called vasopressin, the monogamy chemical. Experiments done with males injected with this chemical brought out all the evidence needed. Isolating males before and after mating showed that before mating, he was indifferent to all females. But 24 hours after mating, he is hooked for life. The jealous husband syndrome sets in too.

Another interesting chemical is oxytoxin, the `cuddling ‘chemical. It promotes the need to be physically held, have close contact with he mate and makes both the sexes more caring. It can be released simply by a lover’s look, smell or even a fantasy.

So much for the chemistry of infatuation. When infatuation subsides, another chemical takes over, which is responsible for intimate relationships. These chemicals are created by endorphins. They make a relationship steadier, intimate, dependable, warm and a great sharing experience. They do not induce a giddy high, but calmness and stability…hence are the reason why people stay married. The longer they are married, the longer two people stay together, because this chemical is addictive. It is endorphins that trigger grief on a spouse’s death or long separation, those yearnings for togetherness. The two types of attachments can be summed up as follows…adrenaline love is being in love with the idea of being in love. While endorphins, we like loving someone.

So much for the magic of love and the realms written on it. It did come out of a bottle after all….and continues to afflict us….generations after generation.