EX-FLAMES RE-IGNITED

       
It is very difficult to let go a person from your life once you connect with him/her deeply. Heart to heart connections take time to fade away.

There was this guy in my life, who made me feel so special .He not only gave me a sense of confidence, but was a constant support .I was a fan of his mature and rational thoughts and equally humorous comments. I ‘respected’ him more than I ‘loved’ him. These feelings took deeper roots day by day. But every good thing comes to an end. Those feelings had to be abandoned. That guy went away, he had informed me but thereafter he never contacted me.

        Nearly two years have passed away since then, things have actually changed in my life, my lifestyle, my personality, my judgment about people, and many more things. I am a more matured individual now. But there’s one thing that hasn’t changed - my feelings for him.

         He is still the special one for me. There is a void in my life and no one but he can fill it. It’s not that I haven’t tried; believe me I’ve tried very hard. That wind-chime that he gifted me on my b’day is lying locked up in my cupboard, which I never bother to open. I never cared to have a look at his photo that’s saved on my pc,(but I never had the courage to delete it either).I tried to bury myself under heaps of books, school, tuitions, friends did help ,but sudden pangs of that missing feeling, that void place vibrated and thousand thoughts swirled in my mind. I realized that his betrayal had pierced very deep. I couldn’t just let go. One year and 10 months(to be precise) is enough for memories to fade away or even take a back seat, but this was not happening with me. Finally I gave up!

         I was okay with the fact that this guy will always have that special place in my heart but that did not mean I wouldn’t give my life a second chance. Forgetting him was impossible so I decided to live with it.

        As they say life is so unpredictable. Two long years and finally I was getting used to my fate, just on the verge of starting afresh and his mobile no. falls on my lap (not literally, of course).

        I couldn’t control myself, as I had these numerous clarifications to be made (some things people told me after he left)

Before making the call I vowed ‘this is going to be the last call’. I called him up; clarified stuffs .I was convinced with his answers to my questions. I actually believed what he said, again not because I loved him but I respected him for the individual he was.

As my fate would have it, several calls followed, but no lengthy discussions happened as I had my exams then, he said we’d discuss after exams. There is still a question mark in our relationship. I know I love him but I don’t know if I am ready to accept him in my life again. Another heartbreak would devastate me. I love him unconditionally and I know nothing beyond that.

I am still waiting for his call, he said he will call, but the question is should I wait or should I move on…..

Giving him another chance will be a way for a better relationships or another devastating experience that would shatter my faith on ‘love’ forever.